Ha ha! Wicked. I empathise. I seem to spend more time squirming over stoopid and inane things I've said than I actually spend talking.
There's a pint of gourmet ice cream impatiently waiting for me at the moment.
Hopefully without any razor blades in it.
am I the only one burning with curiosity as to what was the comment you said. I know it is isn't the point, and it's about feeling the crippling emotion and burning shame...but go on... what was it you said that was so bad....jaq
What always amazes me is that there is no statute of limitations on stupid things I've said. I can suddenly find myself just like the first panel of this cartoon over something I said 20 years ago.
Tis the nature of over-sensitized shame, BA. (Alas.)
Hey,I've been dealing with depression for the last two years and it's finally come to head at its worst point.In between waiting to finally see a therapist, I decided to google around the various things online about psychiatry, psychology, and all that... I came here via 'Frontier Psychiatrist'.I have to say, I read through your archives, hoping at some point to find something uplifting but it's just... bleak. I'm not saying this to goad you, but because I feel myself drawn into the exact same spirals of depression you are and I just... I don't see how you go on living, if this is really how things are: a therapist is just a cynical fool pretending to know what he's doing; the pills barely help; life is just pretty shit in the end.I just... I don't get it.
HowdyThank you for your comment on my blog. As you can probably tell, I don't really have The Answer to all this 'stuff' either.However: one or two things I have learnt over the years regarding depression: 1) lots of introspection doesn't help the depressive mind (I'm not saying DON'T THINK, I'm just saying, find stuff to do that puts you back in touch with your body; after a whole morning THINKING about stuff for an academic piece I'm writing at the moment, and feeling progressively heavier and more gloomy, I am going off to do some Bikram yoga this afternoon which will hopefully restore some balance in my head). Exercise is good. Yoga is good. Meditation can be good too. Have you heard about MBCT? It's now available on the NHS. Ask your doctor for it. I think as a philosopher you'd dig it. 2) People and relationships are important: depressed people lock themselves away in a gloomy fug. This don't help us. Saying that though, I seem to have locked myself away for the long weekend in gloomy fug. As you can see: always easier to dispense wise counsel than follow it oneself....
Yeah, I get you on the introspective front. I keep thinking, "Oh if only I introspect a little bit more, I'll get to The Answer." And whilst I've not given up hope on finding out what's wrong with me, and fixing it, I've realised that part of the problem is getting caught in that introspective stuff -- I just spend more time thinking than really doing, and so, naturally, I don't achieve anything that could help me, and I go into an introspective state, wondering why, putting off more activities that might help.And I know *exactly* what you mean about Academic stuff distorting this. Is the depressive cycle of introspection an unfortunate by-product for already depressed academics, or is it the tendency to get drawn into such cycles which draws them to academia? I know one of my professors has a Postcard on her door, of a spider stuck in a bath, with a ladder next to him, with the comment: "The Philosopher: Smart enough to build a ladder - but he still choses to stay in the bath." I think that captures it nicely.I had a quick google on MBCT, but am a little confused on what the difference between it and regular CT/CBT is? The essential point of each is to identify negative thought patterns/modes and to, well, stop doing them, right? As for other people, hmm... I've got exams in three weeks, and need to spend most of the time locked away, introspecting, getting ready. *Perfect conditions* to get through this. Eurgh.
I'm worried that I'll regret this comment tomorrow
TenureMy belief about introspection is that ideally it should be used to get you out of your head rather than burrowed even more deeply into it. Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy is a very different cognitive kettle of fish to CBT or CT. The clue is in that word 'mindfulness' (as in mindful meditation in the Theravadan Buddhist tradition). Rather than attaching even more to the negative automatic thoughts that a depressive thinking style throws up with CBT 'reframing'/reconceptualisations, the MBCT course attempts to show you how to essentially side-step those thoughts before they can sink their fangs into your ankles. Huge simplification, but I think you get the picture.As I say, there's a real push at the moment via the NHS to get MBCT to the masses as it really does seem to 'work'* (and the 8 week course is extremely interesting to do too), so you might want to ask your GP about it.*When I say 'work', I'm not suggesting you'll be skipping through the daisies singing Mika songs, but perhaps a slightly greater sense of peace might seem more within your grasp.
would you and tenure like to come over for a dtd?(depressives together dinner)
That sounds very interesting, that MBCT stuff... I mean, just philosophically speaking, one of the things I find often missing from psychological talk is any real talk of the mind as a real, continuous thing, with an identity, like any other ordinary object. It's often treated as a heap of contradicting elements, or a series of useless epiphenomena, or some mystical, other-worldy thing which we can never truly comprehend.Unless I'm totally missing the point, this MBCT stuff seems to be focused on the mind as-it-is, in any moment, treating it as something which have to gain some continual, holistic control over, rather than plugging it with commands or pills (not that commands and pills don't have their place, but I am very sceptical of either as being what is essential to the understanding of a healthy mind).Any how, I'm looking it up and seeing if any therapists up in York do it. If so, I'll seek it out. If not, I'll just take normal CT, and then try one of these MBCT books out afterwards.
Beautifully summarised. The other good thing about it (I think) is that it's a group-based course, which takes some of the loneliness out of personal therapy.If you want some bibliotherapy, this book is pretty good. Or anything by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
Post a Comment
Enter your email address:
Subscribe in a reader