Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways?

[Soundtrack]

I have yet to actually watch an episode of X Factor from start to finish. That said, even I can spot two off-key twonks a mile off. And this time, even Hitler agrees with me.

[Birthday card for Juliet. Happy birthday Jules.]

The downside of the virtual community

[Soundtrack]

I'd like to make this water wine (but it's impossible)

[Soundtrack]

Birthday card for bro (who's just about to start working with J.O).

Behind the hatred there lies a plundering desire for love

[Soundtrack]

Happy birthday, John.

Say it in dawg!

[Soundtrack]

Happy birthday, Ma.

x

Wake up Maggie, I think I got something to say to you

[Soundtrack]

Birth day card for my niece Maggie Rae who made her entrance into the world this morning at 5:47 GMT.

(Baby-friendly version of card for her parents.)

Lacan steps up his wooing

Today is Jeannette's (aka Valium Nettesky's) birthday and I'm feeling vaguely smug because after promising I'd send her a gift for her LAST birthday, I've finally managed to accomplish the near-impossible task of going into a post-office and saying: 'Please send this to the Land of the Rising Sun, postmaster" - this afternoon.

So she'll get my birthday present probably around December 25th.

The song Jacques Lacan is singing to her is inspired by this wee ditty, which supposedly she's very much into at the moment.