In 1957 Harry Harlow devised an experiment designed to take a pop at psychoanalytic drive theories of bonding ("Mummy gratifies my hunger. I love Mummy"). He wrote up his findings in a paper bearing the tongue-in-cheek title The Nature of Love.
The infant monkeys showed a clear preference for the cuddly mothers, clinging to these surrogates for 18 hours a day (as they would to a real mother) even though they were fed exclusively from the wire mother and even ‘punished’ with sudden blasts of compressed air as they clung to the cloth stand-ins.
"When a gentleman and his girlfriend of two or three weeks are facing one another, phases of lively social interaction occur, alternating with phases of disengagement. Each phase of interaction begins with initiation and mutual greeting, builds up to an animated interchange comprising facial expressions and vocalizations, during which the girlfriend orients towards her beau with excited movements of arms and legs; then her activities gradually subside and end with the woman looking away for a spell before the next phase of interaction begins.
Throughout these cycles the girlfriend is likely to be as spontaneously active as her boyfriend. Where their roles differ is in the timing of their responses. Whereas a girlfriend’s initiation and withdrawal from interaction tend to follow her own autonomous rhythm, a sensitive boyfriend regulates his behaviour so that it meshes with hers. In addition he modifies the form his behaviour takes to suit her: his voice is gentle but lower pitched than usual, his movements slowed, and each next action adjusted in form and timing according to how his girlfriend is performing. Thus he lets her call the tune and by a skilful interweaving of his own responses with her creates a dialogue.
