Wednesday, 23 July 2008

My fans

my-'fans'

24 comments:

Debra Kay said...

Ok-I read your profile. You talk a lot about yourself, but in the ideal woman tab, it seems that any female who gives off body heat will do. Maybe that's a problem for some of the more discerning girls. I don't know.

Also there is this:
Consider unattractive: Assertiveness; Dancing; Flirting; Intelligence; Showing affection in public

By default you will get only passive agressive, clumsy, frigid, stupid, cold hearted women.

I suck at relationships but damn can I audit the shit out of a profile.

ElizT said...

I'd reply immediately but I don't believe the 'any age' part. Sad.

Mim said...

I'll get back to ya on this, but I think you need an older and hence wiser chick

handmaiden said...

I could help you, but I'm not sure you'd want my input.

Debra Kay said...

I did go back and look at your picture. Actually, unless I meet a person in person, IRL as it were, the physicality of that person isn't real or even important to me.

For me you exist as P, Joss' son, who exists to me as Forever Young but also as a nice lady I like to visit with. You are ideas and thoughts, nothing more, but nothing less either. Isn't that just weird? I have a pair of shoes I bought for your Mom, but it never occurred to me to send you something as well, and now I feel odd about that.

Now, if you lived just across town, I'd probably be more interested in your physical body. I laughed at the distance part of your profile-20 miles in Oklahoma would mean I might be the only human within that range!

I'm amazed at how uncomfortable I am with the idea that you have a body and a face. Part of that is your photo choice though-the way it's cropped, that's all you are is a disembodied face.....that's just disturbing. Artistically, great, but from an emotion evoking viewpoint (or lust evoking which is what you are attempting to do with the photo)....not so much. The photo just doesn't work for wht you are trying to accomplish.

Anonymous said...

ok, ok, i'll say it:


I'd bang ya.

Can you sleep now?

Prozacville said...

Probably not. If you're a regular reader of this website Anonymous you'll be aware that I have a very, very, very, very long list of existential discontents. Getting 'banged' is only one of them.

Mim said...

I posted an long comment last night that seems to have gone missing! I'll summarize.
My first thought was to do a "there-there" but nope...only part of you wants that.
The picture would be nice in a photo album, but if I were looking for a date, I'd rather see the whole enchilada (dressed appropriately!). I like to see how a guy looks in a nice tight T shirt and jeans. (or t shirt and tight jeans)
The "more about him" section is good, and shows a bit of your human side. The "more about her" section needs more detail. Deb is right, it appears that you will take anything, yet I'm sure that you have additional preferences aside from age, and not a complete fatty.
The " you write this section" - is over my head and probably over most. Auschwitz Mr P??? Auschwitz? Oy, oy, oy. NOT a good opening line. Overall that section is a bit too erudite - I think you should take it down a notch.
If you want to fish in a lake teeming with fish - you can use your basic worm (no pun intended), catch a lot of fish and only keep the ones you want. You wouldn't fish in a lake with a hand-tied fly that only one fish in that lake of a million would recognize as the special treat that it is.
Catch and release Mr P - and keep fishing but use the right bait.

Finally, there is nothing women like more than matchmaking. (not all women of course, I don't want to generalize!) It's such a challenge, and when presented with the opportunity to help someone get into the happy state of blissful marriage, we jump into that with both feet. Remember that.
You are a niche, and when you meet someone who can appreciate and treasure that facet of you, that will be terrific. She's out there....

handmaiden said...

I promise I won't do that. I was only going to say you come across as a bit morose*. I was thinking that before I checked your profile on Guardian Soulmates.(what the hell kinda name is that anyway?)
Since I am way older then you you can consider my advice as motherly.




*You know, all those cartoons about death, depression, etc...your picture did nothing to dissuade me from that perception, BTW

Debra Kay said...

P, P, P-I get it-you are a human, pants one leg at a time and all that.

But how is a "there there, I'd bang you in a minute", really going to help anything at all? For all you know, I say that to all the boys.

Think of our lack of platitudes as an expression of the utmost respect for your spiritual depth and inner beauty. Consider that if we thought you a lost cause, we would not have offered suggestions.
Instead, we come, not to comfort, but to further your angst by waving the carrot of hope...do THIS and you'll find true and everlasting love. Pfffffft.


We respect you too much for THAT....(don't you just hate hate that one????)

Anonymous said...

i think the attribute you forgot to mention on your extensive list was narcissism (which could mean both self-centredness and personality disordered). And in your case judging from your blog both apply

ElizT said...

Such a lot of learned advice!
I'm a sucker for anyone who makes me laugh.
Just thought I'd share that.
Would it help?

ksklein said...

I just read your internet profile. Boy after following your blog for some months now, I would have never ever figured out that the author of the blog (cartoon artist) and the person described in the dating profile are the same person.
I haven´t signed up for the dating site, so I unfortunately can´t see your other pics.

Did you change anything of the profile after reading all the comments? It seems so.

Prozac said...

It's not my profile.

Prozac said...

Took original down to spare myself further humiliation.

ksklein said...

Lol... sorry about that. My English just isn´t good enough to get everything right. At least I can listen to my intuition and was right when I couldn´t imagine you to be the other guy. ;)

ksklein said...

Boy, that bad??!! I have to admit that I am curious to read it. Now that the linked profile seemed so wrong.

Fern said...

haa haa Andy13...

shivers*

gags*(sans spoon)

genderpopple said...

Hate to sick up the moral high ground, but isn't mocking dating profiles a trifle cruel? Even if they are arboriculturalists?

Prozac said...

It is cruel, particularly if it's MY DATING PROFILE, which I originally had up here.

I chose the arboriculturalist guy quite randomly, and I actually thought he sounded like a 'nice guy' (which as we know, is almost as unattractive as 'complicated guys' for the female population.)

Gonna change the link to something less 'out there'. Thanks.

genderpopple said...

Maybe from here?

http://www.zombieharmony.com/

At least they are fictional... plus one of them is saying 'om nom nom' which pleases me in a potential partner.

Jeannette said...

I wouldnt bang you.

Im just writing that because the "I'd bang you" comment looks like something I'd say.

I would, however, bang those three chicks and gay guy you drew in your cartoon. But, only if we're all together in my big Japanese shower and calling each other by our screen names.

orangefrute88 said...

get a full on frontal profile from fling.com


don't ask me why i know about that site...

Slipstream said...

My my mow...these comments certainly are outlandish and..amusing.

Some actually made me "laugh out loud".
No, really.

Jeannette and Genderpopple(<--lovely name, er?) especially.


Though, I somehow feel as if I've missed out on something by not getting to view this profile.
Ah well, you can't win 'em all.