Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Counterfeit vouchers





"Accepting one's personal death means facing a number of other unpalatable truths, each of which has its own force-field of anxiety: that one is finite; that one's life really comes to an end; that the world will persist nonetheless; that one is one of many - no more, no less; that the universe does not acknowledge one's specialness; that all our lives we have carried counterfeit vouchers; and, finally, certain stark immutable dimensions of existence are beyond one's influence. In fact, what one wishes has absolutely nothing to do with it."
(Yalom, p120)

[Click on vouchers to download. The perfect birthday, Christmas or anniversary gift. All vouchers underwritten by Death and Disappointment.]


Ellis Nadler said...

I'll vouch for you in court

the therapist said...

Vouchers- what a curious thing.

You strike me as quite insane tonight, Prozac.

I wish you well.

Prozac said...

Ah therapist. Did you not once, perhaps when younger, perhaps when not so young stand in an ill-lit bedsit and read in your ranting, Ginsbergesque voice chunks of Blake and Howard Barker and (dare I even say it) Tom Paulin with half-smoked roll-up in hand and tousled features?

I know you did my friend, I know you did. Well this is my GinseyBlakeBarker moment (I'll give Paulin a miss).

Insanity: it's great while it lasts.

Larry Eisenstein said...

Where do you redeem these things? I bet there's a bunch of exceptions for married masturbators right? Disqualifies the hell out of me for all kinds of fucking reasons. Dude, I need a link to read the contract. Come on man! hook me up. Is there a best before a certain date, Elton John's funeral for example?

Can anyone print these off your blog and use them? Do I have enough prozac points to acquire the whole set. Can you make some granting art sales and take internationa orders?

Oh right, of course not, this is some English wanker thing. Pants!

Anonymous said...

i read the vouchers. i read the comments. i'm going to get a beer and a spliff and that's all i have to say about that. g'nite gracie

Debra Kay said...

Didn't Martin Luther or someone pass those out once-or maybe there was a reformation because someone was passing them out and someone didn't get one? There IS a historical precedent, even if I can't remember exactly what it was.

Are you less ignorant if you know there is something you don't quite know?

Fern said...

You know I can tell you've been hanging out with the Schultz libary. There is something vaguely Linus-esque about death/disappointment's face.

The second one especially.

handmaiden said...

prozacI don't know about all that psychoanalyst stuff & your vouchers suck but, "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" is so you.

Are you less ignorant if you know there is something you don't quite know? Only if you can bullshit everyone into thinking you know what you don't quite know.

Debra Kay said...

Bullshit is second nature to most okies.

Michael Szollosy said...

Thanks Prozac! Just in time for my son's 3rd Birthday, too!

All the best,


Anonymous said...

i also recommend reading classic bloom county. it's politics, albeit from the 80s, AND animals

handmaiden said...

Bloom county!? What about Machiavelli? You people are just too cynical, or something.

I thought this was funny:
"Insanity: it's great while it lasts." Not that it applies to me or anything. Like the okie, I just hang around crazy people. Picking up on the vibes...

soulbrush said...

do they give you:
decisions properly made by useless fuckers,closure to certain things, peace in the soul, heart and home, death to all muggers?
if not, then they are f...worthless!

Catnapping said...

I've had an epiphany. The only way to endure old age? Die young.

Barring that, if you've got anything entitling the bearer to large, non-droopable boobies, that would be useful.

genderpopple said...

I think my Boots Advantage card would be improved by hand drawn pictures of Death.
Non-droopable boobies can be achieved with silicon, provided you don't mind tits that feel like knees.

Jeannette said...

dont worry so much about death, you wont even notice it. sex!, on the other hand, lets all have some more of that!